AKRON, OH — Armed with the knowledge that only an intro-level psychology course can bring, one student at the George Washington University returned home ready to do more than just eat turkey this Thanksgiving. Speaking to reporters from her home in the so-called "Rubber City", Jessica Mackey, a sophomore and economics major, announced that she would be using her family dinner as a platform to clinically assess the mental states of her assembled relations.

Mackey told reporters from the GW Ax that she decided take Professor Beekman's general psychology course this semester, "just to see what's going on up there," adding that, "I really understand the human mind much better than I ever have before now."

"My family's pretty weird," Mackey informed members of the press, "but I think I can really get to the bottom of it now."

After having completed two quizzes and a midterm, Mackey says she feels, "more than prepared," to make what is generally considered to be a serious medical diagnosis best left to a professional. When questioned regarding her qualifications in this field, the nineteen-year-old assured reporters that she had brought a copy of the DSM-5 home with her.

While the student herself felt confident in her ability to provide an accurate assessment, other family members were more skeptical.

"I think we're a pretty regular family," said Mackey's mother, an Akron-area accountant who sits on the local PTO board, "my brother and his family are coming all the way from California and I just hope she won't bring this up at the table."

These sentiments were echoed by Mackey's father, Hank, as well as several neighbors who Ax reporters surveyed for opinions, all of whom agreed that such a move would likely stir up argument and would be generally better suited to a more combative holiday, such as Festivus.

Melvin Mackey, a former mechanic and longtime area resident, however supported his granddaughter's plan, insisting that, "it's time we had a serious discussion about mental illness in this country!"