With tuition prices increasing each year and money seemingly hard to come by for students around campus, every student could stand some new ways to keep their wallets flushed with cash. Here's a few tips to be able to keep your money in your back pocket:

1. Keep your CVS receipts, but crumpled and ripped enough so you can claim they’re coupons for whatever you’re buying. If challenged, a scream and a solitary tear will seal the deal.
2. Attend DC events for the free food. Just wear nice clothes and say you’re on LinkedIn and those think tank tools will believe you’re one of them.
3. Go into Whole Foods and shout, “Former Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld is by the Hot Food bar!” This diversion will allow you to clean out the bread section before anyone notices 
4. For dessert, go to Dunkin’ Donuts at exactly 9:23pm and the attendants will give you all leftover donuts. But come one minute later, and they’ll be given to a man who goes by “Shroom.” Please get there before Shroom. 
5. Sell some kale blended with ice as a Smoothie and profit. At $7 a pop, it's still cheaper than South Block.
6. Go to WiseGuys and tell them that your dad works for Dickie DeAngelis. They’ll give you everything you want for free, no questions asked. 
7. Head to the Red Cross cafeteria. With its poor lighting, lack of seating and low quality, it’s just like J Street, but cheap!
8. Find the cheapest happy hour around and go there. You’re going to be depressed afterwards anyway, so might as well save some cash. 
9. Have a 7-Eleven Hot Dog for lunch. Wash that sick atrocity down with a 50 cent small coffee, too! 
10. Steal Things. Every single one of the Things.