Monday, January 23, 2017

Third Week of Violent Protests over Interlibrary Loan System Not Carrying Being Julia on DVD Begins


WASHINGTON - Students from around the Washington, DC area have joined together in uproar to sound off in unrest at their collective upset at the interlibrary loan system used by their campus’ libraries not carrying any form of copies of 2004 nominee for Best Actress in a Motion Picture at the Academy Awards Being Julia.

“I’m a major István Szabó completist,” explained Pete Stiller, a sophomore at George Mason. “I love his earlier work in his native Hungary, but like everyone else here I felt like bursting into tears upon realizing they do not have this late-career theatrical drama.”

Furious at their inability to see the star turn from Annette Bening, a riot has broken out in the city streets destroying storefronts and setting fire to automobiles.

“It’s unacceptable,” Dean of Student Affairs at the George Washington University Peter Konwerski said in a statement released to the press following the razing of the Mount Vernon Campus. “We should have known that the exploits of a theatrical diva up to no good in turn-of-the-century Paris is a basic right for every student. I don’t know what we were thinking.”

“It was an egregious sin,” a similar statement from the interlibrary loan system declared. “Truly we wish we had understood the unprecedented and immense demand for the second turn by Ms. Bening to lose out for the Oscar to Hilary Swank.”

The collective administrators have refused to back down, but with enough perserverance of spirit and determination the protesting students hope to ensure free distribution of the comedy-drama for many students to come.

“We’ve got to have hope,” explained a concerned student at a rally for the cause. “Sometimes, it’s all we can have.”