WASHINGTON — Many today feel that they are living in a time of deception, one where nothing is quite what it seems and everything can and must be viewed with the utmost scrutiny. This was a lesson learned both the hard and easy ways around lunchtime today by two underperforming students at George Washington University.

WASHINGTON - Busy on campus going out of his way to solve every student’s problems, George Washington University Provost Forrest Maltzman on Monday finally provided the answer to the ancient gate troll Blartinosfat’ riddle, immediately disintegrating the mystical creature and allowing innocent students passage through the central plaza.

ETHEREAL COSMOS - Billions worldwide were thrilled to bits when former American President Jimmy Carter was finally given the punishment he deserves and banished into another dimension never to be seen again.

NEW YORK - College students and members of the workforce nationwide were delighted to learn last week that even gigantic multi-million dollar talent acquisitions by major television networks can disappoint all possible expectations and generally do a poor job in their purpose in life.

WASHINGTON - It was a sad day at the Reptile Discovery Center at the National Zoo, as Reptile Behavioral Specialist Steven Welly transferred his life’s work into cages headed for Ivanka Trump’s shoe factory in China.

WASHINGTON — Six weeks into the semester, Freshman student Jeffery Sallis has really taken to the vibrant student scene at George Washington University’s Mount Vernon Campus, noting its abundant interesting options in comparison to a life in a two-by-two cylindrical shaft used to store water.

EDINBURGH, UK - In a stunning turn of events, the Ax has seemingly ignored its lukewarm reception in the US and opted to open a foreign correspondents’ bureau!