It’s that time of year again - get ready to learn about an assorted variety of scares and ghoulies to spook your neighbours and cheer up the kids this Halloween!

KALOKAIRI, Greece - Students at the George Washington University have been frightened and confused as of late as to the sudden delay of the elections for their beloved Student’s Association. However, the university has announced its backup plan consists of a frankly ridiculous scheme to fly the trio of candidates to a far-off island where they will each meet with someone who may be their daughter, who will then determine which one is the real president.

WASHINGTON - Following what is being considered a humiliating defeat on health care reform last week, Speaker of the House Paul D. Ryan announced a new initiative on reducing healthcare costs around the country.

WASHINGTON - American icon and living legend Sen. John McCain has shown yet another courageous act of defiance against President Trump.

WASHINGTON — A new study released this week has revealed a growing trend in future plans among millenials: falling into the dark, unending recesses of an intergalactic void.

WASHINGTON — The George Washington University’s Division of Student Affairs is reporting a sharp drop in student publication start-ups this past year.

WASHINGTON — New reports show that every single joke, witty observation or snarky remark ever made by freshman Michael Cohen is pulled verbatim from a sketch from the British comedy show “Monty Python’s Flying Circus.”

WASHINGTON--Residents of Room 617 in Fulbright Hall came to the conclusion on Thursday Night that something exciting was occurring in neighboring Room 616, apparently.

EASTON, PA — The GW Ax continues its tradition of awarding one lucky locale with the honor of “Hottest Spring Break Destination.” Last year, we honored the wonderful city of Hoboken, but this year we look west to the illustrious metropolis of Easton, Pennsylvania.

They say that every dog has his day and personally, I agree as far as Dale Earnhardt Jr. is concerned. That man, that myth, that legend, that dog and machine behind the wheel, has indeed had his day, both as a victor of the world-famous Daytona 500, and as the conqueror of my heart.