WASHINGTON - Excited to drum up donations from philanthropic alums, the administration at George Washington University announced today that they had scheduled everyone’s favorite act for the upcoming GW Flag Day.

Mr. Bronson, a staple of GW culture, said he was “honored” and “privileged” to return to campus for the fourth year in a row.

“The reception for every event I’m at, [it’s] just overwhelming,” Mr. Bronson spoke to us remotely from his apartment, as he stuffed multiple GW sweatshirts into a small travel bag. “Anything for the alumni fund, man. Anything for the alumni fund.”

Flag Day, a staple of every GW student’s social calendar, is the annual beg-a-thon in which students are given the opportunity to give back to the school that has given all of us so much. From tasteful landscaping to new cafeterias, students at the Foggy Bottom campus have a lot to be thankful for.

“I think it’s a fun thing,” began Kace Meircri, a sophomore in the School of Media & Public Affairs. “It would be boring if we knew where the money was going, but by saying vague things like ‘students in need’ or ‘money may go to’ it keeps it fresh and exciting. Maybe I’m helping a student who needs that extra push. Maybe I’m donating to have the bathrooms in Lisner regrouted. It’s like playing the lottery!”

When asked her opinions on Mr. Bronson’s new headlining status, Ms. Meircri was anything but bashful.

“Good ol’ Action! I hear he’s getting an honorary degree this year!”

So make sure to double check your calendars, kiddies. Because Flag Day is here, and no one should miss it.