WASHINGTON - It was a scene of panic today as a bare-footed President Knapp approached the podium to address his loyal servants about an issue which could no longer be avoided.

“I know you may have heard rumors,” began the President of the George Washington University, bread bags taped to his ankles, “but I want to assure you that everything is under complete control. The University is exploring our options in importing more boating shoes, but until then we advise everyone stay indoors.”

Rioting has been continuous for three days now. Elliot school freshmen have reported roving packs of human leather tanners constructing grotesque human boating shoes. Nearly four cases of petty vandalism have been called in to UPD. But for those of us caught in the midst of the Great Boating Shoe Shortage of 2017, it can be difficult to understand why.

“Ah, questions about the embargo. That’s where I come in.” Professor Andres Palitzo teaches international trade theory in the Elliot School. He has been warning the administration of the impending crisis for three years.

“See, the university imports all of its boating shoes- more than 98% at least- from one country,” began Dr. Palitzo, pointing to a small map. “Boclavistein. Located between Bolivia and Bosnia, right here. Number one exporter of boating shoes in the world and very, very, anti-creative writing.”

The administration has slashed the creative writing department’s budgets in recent years, in an attempt to appease the sizeable state. But it was not enough, and the administration, Dr. Palitzo claims, is at fault.

“They needed a backup plan, plain and simple. They didn’t have one, Boclavistein pulls out, suddenly it all goes to hell. This school needs its boating shoes. We accept no substitute.”

Although the future may look dark now, the university’s official emergency fashion police have set about scouring the newly established demilitarized zone for any possible foot coverings to appease the student population. At press time, seven have died.