Every time you return home, there are a few regularities. For one, your parents are glad to have you back. You’re going to eat substantially more food, siblings become more tolerable. In general, trips home become more pleasant.

This is true for the majority of familiar aspects. However, your old friends fall outside this category- they seem to suck more and more each year.

Every time you go to a party that’s a pseudo-class-reunion, the only thought that tumbles through your head, “Why did I used to like these people?”

And can anyone really blame you? They’re weird! You have nothing in common with those plebeians anymore. Especially you suburban folk- Congrats on escaping that hell-hole. Every trip home reminds you why you left.

Why does this phenomenon occur? How do the ones who stayed home still like each other? Can’t they recognize how awful they all are? Then, all of a sudden, it hits you. Maybe it’s you? Maybe you’re just a dick now? As usual, the GW Ax is asking the big questions others just won’t. Consider it food for thought, and in the meantime smile, nod, and play it cool, as always.