WASHINGTON - Students at George Washington University were reportedly shocked and aghast upon spotting their believed friend, sophomore Chris Wallace, in the Foggy Bottom Whole Foods Market placing his items in his own tote bag.

“I don’t even know him anymore,” said his girlfriend of fifteen months, Lily Parker. “The minute I saw that he would do that, it was over. Never again.”

“I immediately began screaming, and ran out of the store in terror,” explained fellow student Lenny Glass, who has known Wallace since they were in kindergarten. “We will never speak again, I don’t want to think of him again, I’m terrified at the thought.”

The university has dispatched counselors to console the affected acquaintances at no additional charge.

“I thought Whole Foods was a safe space,” Glass continued.

“But my former friend buys the 8 oz. container of chocolate-covered graham crackers for $9, and can’t spare the nickel for the paper bag?”

Wallace also regularly purchases and enjoys yogurt-covered pretzels from the retailer, but his friends and family have not been notified of this due to fear of permanent psychological damage.