WASHINGTON - Speaking from the steps of city hall, Washington, DC Mayor Muriel Bowser announced yesterday morning that she would not be investing a single cent into the purchase of more snowplows or other winter weather equipment for our nation’s capitol.

The announcement came as a shock to many in the wake of January’s so called Snowmageddon, which caused Congress to partially shut down and left many streets impassable for close to a week.

This experience left many DC residents feeling that the city’s maintenance services were far from equipped to handle such a situation, an assessment which is absolutely correct. Despite the best efforts of many on the ground, with only three of its own snowplows, there was only so much that the city could do before more plows could be sent from elsewhere to help get the streets clear.

Fully aware of these facts, this problem, and what would seem to be an easily implemented readily apparent solution, Mayor Bowser drew a firm line in the snow and has thus far held fast to it.

“I’m making a promise today that I won’t allow this city to throw another cent at snowplows as long as I’m in office,” Bowser informed reporters yesterday. “This city needs to learn its lesson!”

Bowser has not yet been forthcoming about what exactly this lesson is, but one can assume that it has become a personal passion for the mayor to see this through.

In the course of the media circus which ensued following the announcement, reporters from the GW Ax managed to grab hold of Jacob Cobblesey, an aide to the mayor, to ask his opinion of the decision.

Speaking possibly with fears for his job security in mind, Cobblesey chose to act as a mouthpiece of the City Hall machine.

“I think Mayor Bowser absolutely made the right call,” Cobblesey said through what may have been gritted teeth. “Her plan will save a great deal of money for other uses. After all, it didn’t happen quickly, but the snow all got cleared.”

The opinions expressed by the mayor and apparently also by Mr. Cobblesey are rare flecks in what would appear to be a much larger mass of confusion and general disappointment in Bowser’s rash and shocking pronouncement.

It appears at press-time that the mayor will not be swayed from her decision, though, to her credit, she did grant audience to a handful of citizens and metropolitan employees. It remains to be seen if any of the Capital’s lobbying interests will lend a benevolent hand to the situation, or if Big Snow has already informed her position on the issue.