WASHINGTON - Administrators at the George Washington University are scrambling this morning to try and fill Interim Provost Forrest Maltzman’s position after he has been appointed to replace Justice Antonin Scalia by a unanimous senatorial vote.

“He is brilliant,” explained President Obama, as to his nomination. “When I heard there was a vacancy, my first thought was to pick up the red phone on my desk, which put me right through to Forrest.”

Back at his office, Maltzman answered the phone, nodded his head as he heard what the President told him, and then quickly gathered his things and handed in his resignation to President Knapp.

“My country needs me,” he explained after kicking the door in and throwing the paper on the desk.

For an individual to be appointed to temporarily fill the place of the Interim Provost as the Interim Interim Provost, a filibuster-proof majority of the administrative board must be reached. Some members of the board are threatening not to appoint a replacement until the new Provost is decided upon.

“The American People have a right to choose,” explained one board member, for no apparent reason and not really understanding the way these vacancies are filled.