WASHINGTON - The undergraduate student body and greater political world was shaken yesterday as sophomore Political Science major Jennifer Betts unveiled a radical proposal that Sen. Marco Rubio was the most electable Republican presidential candidate come the general election.
“No one has even considered this possibility,” explained the head of the department, Professor Damian Reese. “This is so strange, so abstract, but - it somehow makes sense!”
The undergraduate concludes that businessman Donald Trump and Sen. Ted Cruz, the other Republican frontrunners, are inherently dislikeable people, and would probably not attract independent voters as succesfully as the Florida senator.
“This proposal is ludicrous,” said Tina Travers, a representative of the Cruz campaign. “Our candidate seems like the most likeable, just-plain-bubbly guy. Ebullient is the first word that comes to mind when you think ‘Ted Cruz.’”
“If the Republicans want somebody who can win in November, Rubio’s their best bet,” said Betts. “I just wish everyone would acknowledge this.”
The leading political analysts in the national media landscape are flabbergasted as to how they overlooked this just plain revolutionary piece of political genius.
“You’d almost think this possibility has been floated around by most informed people for months, and it’s actually not that original a proposal,” explained Reese.