WASHINGTON - While investigating a lead in a possible cookie crisps-based news story, a local reporter for the GW Ax quickly rushed back to the newsroom almost out of breath with some startling news: deep in the fields of the greater Washington area, the George Washington University’s baseball team continues to exist.

When our staff managed to calm our correspondent down from his psychotic daze, he reported that not only did the team exist, they’re apparently not that bad, either. The Ax began investigating and interviewed local sports correspondent Chip Dashing.

“I have heard rumors [of the team’s existance], yes,” began Chip, seated comfortably in his leather arm chair. “But I’ve heard rumors that we have a lacrosse team, too. I’ve never been able to personally verify in either case.”

The Washington-based basketball school has a long-standing tradition of apparently having other sports teams that no one has ever never heard of. In 1897, the George Washington Red Knickerbockers were apparently one mediocre force to be reckoned with, despite also being totally unknown and unrecognized.

Little is known about the illusive GW baseball team. Seen occasionally on the corner near Funger Hall, grazing on chewing tobacco and bubblegum, few know where they go or how they got there in the first place. Some have hypothesized that they, in fact, live in the bushes near the School of Business; others theorize that they never leave.

Where do they play their games? No one is completely sure. Our investigative journalists have pinpointed the location to “probably in DC, but maybe Virginia, certainly in the metro area somewhere.” Perhaps mankind was just not meant to know.

So remember, next time you see a pinstriped blur run through the shadows on campus, the GW Baseball team is still out there, always waiting, always watching.