WASHINGTON - Sources close to French exchange student Pierre Blanc report that he is no longer even pretending to tolerate “mom, guns, and apple pie,” those very things everyone in the United States hold so dearly.

“It's less awkward this way,” began Blanc's roommate, Judd Flankert. “When he first got here, he put on this big fake smile whenever we asked if he wanted to go out for pizza or something. We’d have to pretend like we didn’t know that he hates everything noble in this world. At least there are no hard feelings.”

Pierre has cited overall low intelligence, apathy towards international affairs, and pungent body odor as his reasons for hating all things red, white and blue. The 20-year-old apparently always felt this way about Americans, despite being very excited to come to this country just four months ago.

This burnout is becoming increasingly problematic among the international and foreign exchange students who populate the hallowed halls of George Washington University. It now seems the international community at large just can’t be bothered with our nation’s storied culture. Anthropologist Dr. Kelsey Guerny comments.

“Its a problem without a solution,” he began. “Theoretically, we could take this oppurtunity to learn about one another, or change our ways. But where’s the fun in that? I like the way I smell.”

Administrators have fought hard to regain the false trust and ill deserved hope of this growing minority of students. The instillation of a Bertucci’s restaraunt on campus to appeal to Italian students was met with nothing but unequivocal praise, its raviolis and linguine indistinguishable from that in the home country. In addition, the textile museum has had far-reaching and oftentimes sweeping effects on Uzbek students, and others from similarly yarn-based economies. But these steps may not be enough to alleviate the unfortunate collective burden we acknowledge as the American culture.