WASHINGTON - The community at George Washington University was rocked early this morning with news of what experts are calling “the Caper of the Century.” An investigation is ongoing into this disturbing crime, but GW Police at present believe that at some point in the late hours of the night an unknown assailant crept into the office of University President Steven Knapp and made off with the entirety of his precious Hess truck collection.
The 218-piece collection, which was nearly complete and contained not one, but two of the extremely rare 1964 Hess Tanker Ship models, was estimated to be worth just shy of $200,000 when brought to appraisal in 2013.
The GW Police Department has only a few possible leads, the most promising of which is reported to be a thin trail of oil left on the carpet of Knapp’s office by the yet unknown plunderer. This development has led some to speculate about the possibility of a connection or even a deal gone bad between Knapp and the oil industry, while others have claimed that the Hess Corporation is sending a message to the university president regarding his recent green initiatives on campus. GWPD has declined to comment on these theories and they remain, for now, within the realm of speculation.
In a rare moment of solidarity, members of the GW community came out to strongly condemn the violation of their president’s office and demand the thief reveal him or herself. Reporters from the GW Ax got to speak with Darren Calero, a junior in the Elliott School who came out to voice his support for Knapp.
“I just think it’s really a huge disgrace that a thing like this can happen,” Calero told reporters, “This guy is the president! What’s the world coming to that people are robbing the president of what he loves the most in the whole world!”
Shortly after news of the heist was made public, Knapp issued a statement expressing his strong desire to have the collection returned to him and willingness to even buy back the stolen items at their appraised value. Flowers may be sent to his office to support him in this moment of personal difficulty.
