WASHINGTON - Citing a desire to not wake up to an inbox of angry death threats, the commendable young publishers at the Ax have decided that they’re not even going to bother touching this whole Spring Fling thing.

This is a revolutionary change in action from their previous attempts at humor; oftentimes, subjects such as the Pope, crippling tuition, and the tragic loss of the state of Delaware have all been all fair game. The amount of controversy the annual musical performance has brewed, however, has reached new levels.

“I enjoy making fun of basically everything,” began a respected journalist writing for the Ax who wishes to remain anonymous. “But honestly, I’ve seen people burned in effigy for less than this. Don’t want to risk it, you know?”

The administration of the Ax cites concerns of a possible shutdown as part of the reason why they’ve decided to, “like, not even touch this with a ten foot pole, man.” One anonymous editor in chief has confirmed that he wouldn’t want to risk disappointing fans of the publication.

“They expect a certain level of professionalism from us,” said the man who regularly uses the Ax to mock politicians and saints alike. “We’re not your everyday dross-filled newspaper. We’re GW’s Finest News Source.”

Copyright-infringing taglines aside, many in the public have stirred a counter controversy in regards to the Ax’s wish to remain silent.

“I mean you made fun of the Archaeology department all the time back in the day,” explained poor, naive young Jason Hornblapher, a sophomore who has obviously never woken up to death threats because he decided to make light of what many thought serious.

“You’ve made some really distasteful articles about prison conditions to celebrate Thanksgiving, for goodness’ sake,” he continued. “I don’t understand why suddenly this is different.” The GW Ax has confirmed that he is an innocent young soul and not to be taken seriously.

“We have lines,” began another anonymous yet highly prized and experienced journalist. “Some things just aren’t cool to make fun of. You have to remember taste.”

The GW Ax has begun reworking a piece on Jared Fogle that just barely manages to still be above-board.