WASHINGTON - After dramatically losing business from the brand new Marvin Center Waffle House, Lincoln Waffle shop proprietor Martin Lee has vowed revenge upon the new establishment.

Before Waffle House first reared its gnarled face upon the DC campus, Mr. Lee had a virtual monopoly on local drunkards, sweaty tourists and emotionally wrecked college students with his waffle establishment on 10th and F streets. Despite the neighborhood being so notoriously crime-ridden that even President Lincoln was shot at there, GW students have been coming to the waffle-centric establishment in increasing numbers, being the perfect place for an inexpensive breakfast, hangover cure or temporary ailment for their general brokenness.

“Lincoln Waffle Shop is a perfect place to eat, if you’ve run out of GWorld and have no other options,” said sophomore Dada studies major Debra Church. “The aged decor and lack of any hygiene is not the finest I’ve ever encountered, but it beats starving after a night of heavy drinking and poor decisions.”

Yet today, Lee’s patrons have deserted him in the wake of a slighter cheaper and marginally less dismal competitor. “The new Waffle House is just more convenient, since if I’m in a drunken stupor or a sober haze, I now only have to stumble three blocks back to my room in Amsterdam” said Church.

“It’s even worse than I can imagine, and that’s really saying something,” said Mr. Lee, who refused to disclose his personal background or what he meant by this statement. “They’ve taken all of my business, and all I have left are the tourists dumb enough to think Lincoln actually owned the waffle shop.” At the time of the interview the only patron of the shop was a possibly confused tourist taking a selfie with a framed portrait of the 16th President on the wall.

The waffle proprietor promises retribution against his rival. “I serve up justice the same way I serve waffles: quickly, cheaply and on a dish that may or may not has already been used.”

GW Dining Services spokesman James McGuff was reached for comment by the Ax, but he refused and muttered under his breath, “Oh God, no,” just before hanging up. He has not shown up at his office for the last four days.