WASHINGTON. — A George Washington University psychology professor called for the attention of his students in a Tuesday morning email this week to issue a brief reminder.
Professor Harris sadly informed his students that even though not a single person has come to see him up until this point in the academic year, he would still be holding regular office hours throughout the rest of the semester. He even boldly extended his office hours for the second finals week, despite losing hope of a single intrepid student coming to ask him a question.
The students were understandably perplexed. They thought office hours were just a myth that the university tells incoming freshman to lure them in — they had no idea that they actually existed. One student even went so far as to say they were a conspiracy comparable to the moon landing.
“It’s all a fake!” Kimberly Ann Percy said, sipping her Starbucks frappucino as she did so. “It’s just, like, something they tell you about but isn’t actually real. Profs always want you to come see them, but I don’t know anyone who’s actually seen a professor during office hours. Like, it’s probably just some fake thing that they use as a cover to go party. Totally made up. Like the moon landing!”
We’re not sure if that last part was really serious or not. We hope not, considering she was heading to an astronomy class when we caught up with her.
Professor Harris will be in his office three days next week, from 11-2. We’ll take pity on the guy and show up for like 20 minutes or so.
