WASHINGTON— What was initially expected to be a lighthearted evening at the French Embassy on Saturday night took a surprising and disappointing turn that left hosts and guests alike feeling more than a bit put-out. Nearly five hundred revelers turned out for the catered party in honor of President George Washington’s 285th birthday, each looking forward to celebrating the occasion with him, but much to the chagrin of all in attendance, the great man never showed up!

The party started at 8:00 p.m., with the First President of the United States expected to arrive by carriage at around 8:30, but when 9:00 rolled around and without any sign of him, planners and attendees started to wonder what the deal was. After several increasingly frantic texts as well as two phone calls from French ambassador Gérard Araud failed to yield any reply, many began to realize that the Hero of Yorktown probably wasn’t going to show.

“This kind of behavior is really beneath him and frankly I think we were all a bit shocked by it,” said Carter Jacobson, a professor in the George Washington University History Department, “but I guess it shows that our idols really are only human.”

It was later learned from Megan Dunn, Chief of Staff of the President’s Office at the Mount Vernon Mansion and Museum, that Washington never even left his Virginia estate! In fact the carriage which was sent for him had to be turned away and it is very likely that he slept through the entire evening. This should not be wholly surprising as the great leader and general has only been seen up and about on a handful of occasions since his illness in 1799; still though, many hoped and expected that this would be one such occasion.

At presstime the former President had yet to give comment on the incident, however sources within the French embassy report that the ambassador did receive a reply at 2:43 a.m. reading, “Sorry my bad :-/”