WASHINGTON - An astonished audience of onlookers gasped in shock as Frank Sesno, Director of George Washington University’s distinguished School of Media & Public Affairs, revealed himself to be Oscar-nominated filmmaker and actor Jeff Goldblum.
GWAX ON / GWAX OFF
Friday, March 25, 2016
Jeff Goldblum Has Been Secretly Running School of Media & Public Affairs
WASHINGTON - An astonished audience of onlookers gasped in shock as Frank Sesno, Director of George Washington University’s distinguished School of Media & Public Affairs, revealed himself to be Oscar-nominated filmmaker and actor Jeff Goldblum.
Thursday, March 24, 2016
Travel Tips: Hoboken, New Jersey Set to be Year’s Hottest Travel Destination!
HOBOKEN, NJ - Sporting this spring’s hottest destinations isn’t an easy job, but this year the Mile Square City is happy to have that honor!
Wednesday, March 23, 2016
Kogan George Washington Statue Comes to Life Every Night at Midnight to Solve Mysteries
WASHINGTON - “Do not be afeared, citizens!” George Washington, America’s first president, barks upon arising from his deep slumber each night. “I am here to save the day!”
Tuesday, March 22, 2016
Senior Applies to Grad School; Decides to Be Professional TA
Monday, March 21, 2016
Thursday, March 17, 2016
Top 10 Spring Break Activities More Exhausting Than School
We’re all about leisure here at the GW Ax, but sometimes we wish that we could make our vacations a soul-crushing march of tumult and despair. If you’re anything like us, we've got a list of activities sure to make this spring break a wild one!
Thursday, March 10, 2016
Midterm Week Drags on Into Second Consecutive Month
WASHINGTON - Students at the George Washington University were exasperated this morning upon realizing that they remained deep in the midst of midterm week, news made even more upsetting by the fact that midterm week has carried into its second consecutive month.
Wednesday, March 9, 2016
Annual Mass Exodus of GW Students to Caribbean Baffles Migratory Ornithologists
WASHINGTON - As students prepare for Spring Break across the nation’s many college campuses, one group of academics will be staying inside. Migratory ornithologists, scientists tasked with tracking the migration patterns (or lack thereof) of the nation’s 914 distinct avian species, are fascinated each year by the migration pattern of the Great Whitebacked Colonial.
University to Shut Down All Sidewalks in City for Remainder of Semester Due to Superdorm Construction
WASHINGTON - Administration at George Washington University surprisingly announced that they had brokered an agreement with city officials to close all remaining sidewalks for the next three months on account of the ongoing construction of District House.
Tuesday, March 8, 2016
Smithsonian Collections Found to Include, Like, The Creepiest Jack-In-The-Box You’ve Ever Seen
WASHINGTON - The Smithsonian Institutions have long been referred to as “the Nation’s Attic” and, like an attic, these warehouses of wisdom contain more than a few surprising, if not best forgotten, relics of the past.
Student Brings Own Tote Bag to Whole Foods Like Some Kind of Freak
WASHINGTON - Students at George Washington University were reportedly shocked and aghast upon spotting their believed friend, sophomore Chris Wallace, in the Foggy Bottom Whole Foods Market placing his items in his own tote bag.
Monday, March 7, 2016
SCANDAL: The Rival Took Us Out to Dinner, Then Didn’t Cover The Check!
Friday, March 4, 2016
GW Squash Team Draws Crowd of 600,000 for Championship Game
WASHINGTON - It's squash fever in Foggy Bottom, as millions of diehard fans are finding that you can’t squash the squash!
Thursday, March 3, 2016
Search Begins for Interim Interim Provost as Maltzman Unanimously Appointed to Supreme Court
WASHINGTON - Administrators at the George Washington University are scrambling this morning to try and fill Interim Provost Forrest Maltzman’s position after he has been appointed to replace Justice Antonin Scalia by a unanimous senatorial vote.
Wednesday, March 2, 2016
Desperate for More Green Space on Campus, Knapp Fills Gelman First Floor With Sod
WASHINGTON - Citing a growing demand for reclaimed green space on modern urban campuses, President Knapp has been recently seen scurrying about the first floor of Gelman Library after hours, spreading sod.
Brilliant, Daring Undergraduate Reveals Ingenious Hypothesis Rubio Most Electable Candidate
WASHINGTON - The undergraduate student body and greater political world was shaken yesterday as sophomore Political Science major Jennifer Betts unveiled a radical proposal that Sen. Marco Rubio was the most electable Republican presidential candidate come the general election.
Tuesday, March 1, 2016
Mayor Bowser Refuses to Invest in More Plows, Says City Needs to Learn its Lesson
WASHINGTON - Speaking from the steps of city hall, Washington, DC Mayor Muriel Bowser announced yesterday morning that she would not be investing a single cent into the purchase of more snowplows or other winter weather equipment for our nation’s capitol.