WASHINGTON - Stating a growing desire to keep up with youth trends, Whole Foods has introduced a brand new experimental location in Foggy Bottom. Titled “Whole Foods Eco”, CEO John Mackey hopes to start a revolution.

“People are always coming up to me, always saying, ‘John I love what you do. But sometimes I walk away and I don’t feel, I don’t feel like I’ve done enough. For the environment.’ And so we started thinking, the Whole Foods guys and I, started thinking how can we make this a 100% eco friendly institution? And that’s where this comes from.”

Mr. Mackey, millionaire entrepreneur and CEO of the organic grocery chain, plans to cut out the middleman of grocery shopping- the groceries.

By replacing each location with a giant smoking pit in the ground which citizens can throw money into, Whole Foods has completely eliminated any and all waste generated by having to feed a city of 600,000 residents. Once safely in the pit, the money is allowed to turn into soil so as to fertilize the area. Reception has been positive.

“Honestly, I’m thrilled. My room has never been so minimalist!” Andrew Carther is a senior at the George Washington University, studying public policy. “There’s just this incredible burden about actually buying and consuming food, it really weighs on the soul. I’m glad they’ve been able to cut out the middleman.”

Carther, like many students, can be found on the outskirts of campus on any given Tuesday throwing their money into the smoking hole in the ground in exchange for good feelings and lighter pockets. Whole Foods Eco has also begun to accept Apple Pay, allowing students to throw their phones in as well.

“This is the sort of move that geniuses make,” continued Carther. “I’m honestly surprised that it hasn’t been done before.”

Although scientists questioned the practicality of the store, the physical effects of starvation have been minimal. Experts at the university have been struggling for an explanation.

“It appears that the sheer pride of being part of a movement bigger than themselves has kept many of these students alive and thriving,” read an official release from the University’s Hospital. “Or maybe things are about to get really bad in about a week.”

The business world, however, is undeterred. At press time, George Washington University has made a similar bold decision and has vowed to replace the unfinished District House basement with a pit of snakes and textbooks.