WASHINGTON - Junior Nigel O’Flanagan found himself in quite a shock yesterday when, to his surprise, not a single one of his friends or acquaintances had any remote interest whatsoever in seeing the well-known English rock musician Elvis Costello at the Warner Theater.

O’Flanagan, a student at George Washington University, was taken aback at the lack of enthusiasm amongst his friends for Costello’s finest works in the late 1970s.

“Jesus Christ, I explained to them how influential My Aim is True was back in ‘77, and how it really affected the punk-dominated landscape of the time, but no one knew what I was talking about!”

O’Flanagan has yet to find a single friend, family friend, acquaintance, or person behind him on the Starbucks line that both knows who Elvis Costello is a desire to attend. “One girl asked me if he was an Elvis impersonator, and other thought I mean the fatter half of the famous comedy duo Abbott and Costello of ‘Who’s on First’ fame,” explained O’Flanagan, who was clutching his 45” vinyl of Oliver’s Army for the duration of his interview.

The saddened fan was even more distraught upon his realization that he was alone in his love for other late 1970s British rock bands. “I was out at the pub [Froggy Bottom, which is a real pub, trust us], and I casually quoted In The City, and it turns out no one has even heard of the “The Jam!” Not even ‘Down in the Tube Station at Midnight’! C’mon guys! How can go through life without even so much as having heard of the great Paul Weller?”

“That’s like not knowing who Ginger Baker or Ronnie Wood is!”