WASHINGTON–– Campus security was called into George Washington University’s Gelman Library earlier on Wednesday to handle a group of friends arguing over whether or not tomatoes taste good.

“It was crazy,” recalled an onlooker who preferred to remain anonymous. “They were practically at each other's throats.”

In the University Police Department’s file report, the disturbance began as the group was wrapping up a two hour study session on gender studies. Discussing what to buy at Whole Foods, it came to their attention that there was a sale that day on produce. International Relations student Marcus Finnegan then commented “Awesome! Tomatoes are delicious!”

Witnesses describe the silence following that statement to be palpable- as thick as a brick wall.

Victor Yau, Finnegan’s classmate, looked at his classmate as though he had just said that he enjoyed wet food scraps from the inside of a garbage disposal.

“Dude, tomatoes are gross,” he said.

Finnegan’s roommate, Political Science student Arturo Gonzales, quickly came to his friend’s defense. He asked “What are you talking about, bro? Tomatoes make everything better!” He then began listing all of the contributions tomatoes have made to the international cuisine community: salsa, pizza, chicken parmigiana, soup to dip grilled cheese in, and so on. He had just started to list the endless possibilities that ketchup offers when Finnegan interjected, “Yeah man, totally. But nothing beats tomatoes straight off the vine.”

“That’s how it started,” the onlooker said as she shuddered. “The fever, the rage, the feeling of powerlessness.”

Yau said he would under no condition pay for a bag of “squishy, seed-filled sacks of hate” regardless of the savings.

Finnegan, obviously miffed, started arguing how wonderfully natural tomatoes tasted. “You can taste the sunshine in every bite!”

“Well, the sun tastes like crap,” retorted Yau, using his outside voice.

Gonzales tried in vain to de-escalate the situation, but only served to fuel the flames when it came to light that Gonzales thought tomatoes were only really edible in sauce form. “Dude, seriously, just a straight up tomato?” Gonzales asked his roommate. “Seriously?”

Finnegan argued what Gonzales argued, since tomatoes are used in so many other dishes they must be good. “Diced tomatoes in salads are the bomb!” he practically shouted.

“Bro, its salad!” Yau screamed back. “It's just a bowl of leaves. You could add a raw turnip covered in dirt to a salad and it would still be an improvement!”

The philosophical kerfuffle over what constituted a tomato in a dish and whether or not it proved the fruit to be any good continued until the boys’ screams could be heard all throughout the library.

When University Police arrived, they were immediately questioned by the group as to their opinion on the matter. Officer Frank Lutz sided with Yau and officer Karen McMillan sided with Finnegan. Lutz cuffed Finnegan and McMillan later pepper-sprayed Yau in the face, who went down to the floor crying “this stuff still tastes better than those freaking vine-grown hemorrhoids!”

A special investigative tribunal has been called to judge the possible use of improper force.

This marks the third produce-related assault on campus this year.