RICHMOND, Va. - The best laid plans of George Washington University’s outgoing President Steven Knapp have sadly gone awry. The university’s most visible administrator made the regrettable decision of hosting a clown-themed birthday party Monday for his granddaughter Sophie, at his large estate in southern Virginia.

In his last few months as University President, Knapp has begun to ignore unimportant issues such as tuition costs or decaying residence halls, instead devoting weeks towards meticulous planning for Sophie’s eighth birthday party. Knapp made the inadvisable decision to give the party a clown theme, based on his own childhood love for the bizarrely-dressed circus performers.

“As a child I always loved clowns, be it at circuses, parties or on TV,” Knapp said in a post-party interview, still recovering from multiple injuries. “My favorite show was The Magic Clown, where this happy-go-lucky carnie named Jobbo would do magic tricks for children while instructing them to buy Bonomo Turkish Taffy by the cartload. It made me sure that as an adult my job would involve mildly amusing young people while pocketing their money, which is how I eventually became the President of GW.”

Sadly, the President was completely unaware of the recent Internet-led panic regarding creepy clowns spotted across the United States. “I’m afraid that Master Knapp was not informed about this so-called ‘meme’ regarding the existence of marauding carnival yobbos threatening young people,” explained Knapp’s trusted valet Cranston.

The Ax reports this story exclusively thanks to testimony from Sophomore Aidan Ceausescu, who is underbutler at the estate through work-study.