WASHINGTON - Just when voters thought they had seen it all, the 2016 United States presidential election took yet another sudden turn. Recent polling data released by The Workers' Commissar for Michael Seung shows the candidate from the American Juche party to be leading the race by an unheard-of 98.5%!
Having kept out of the spotlight until recently, most know relatively little about Seung and his party, the American branch of the Democratic People's Republic of Korea ruling establishment. According to official party sources, Seung was born in 1976 on the Fourth of July in the shadow of Mount Rushmore.
Some claims also indicate that he was born under a double-rainbow, much like the late Kim Jong-Il, his maternal third cousin and the "eternal leader" of the so called Hermit Kingdom.
After these new polling results became public, Seung and his campaign expressed excitement that the American public had finally come to accept the natural necessity of post-Marxist communism as pioneered by the Kim dynasty.
"For years it has been my dream to help America adopt the principles which have led the Democratic People's Republic of Korea become the prosperous military power we know it as today," Seung said in a prerecorded interview. "Long live the Juche ideal!"
While some have disputed the veracity of these data, The Workers' Commissar for Michael Seung insist that they, "accurately reflect the enthusiasm felt by nearly every American to work with their brothers and sisters above the Thirty-Eighth Parallel."
Seung is the first and only American politician to date who has secured an endorsement from Supreme Leader of the Democratic People's Republic of Korea Kim Jong-Un. With the notable exception of his former presidential rival, former Rhode Island Gov. Lincoln Chaffee, the political establishment on this side of the Pacific has yet to embrace his candidacy.
When asked about his endorsement for the American Juche Party candidate, Chaffee is said to have become "visibly flustered" and told reporters that it was his "very first endorsement."
