SEATTLE - In a stunning turn of events, Starbucks has announced a replacement for its special holiday cups this year, deciding to forego the traditional holiday designs that everyone lost their minds over in previous years, instead unveiling a design that is startling to say the least.

The new cups are white, with the words “Fuck you’ written in blood, along with bloody flecks across the face of the cup. We in the newsroom love them, but we assume the rest of the world isn’t as screwed up as we are.

But we’ve assumed wrong! The new cups have received a startlingly tame reception, with no one notably expressing disdain for the new designs. We thought we heard some old lady freaking out over them, but it turns out she was just commenting on her husband’s murder scene for the nightly news. Lovely woman, all things considered.

We tried to reach out to regular Starbucks customers for comment but no one seemed to want to talk to us; not unusual by any means, since we’re usually the awkward ones in the corner at parties, but this time everyone seemed to be too busy trying to hang onto their Pumpkin Spice Lattes until the last possible second they could. We guess we can understand.

Starbucks, for their part, released a statement saying they were excited to take the company in a new direction, and that they hoped the new cups will help bring people together by finding a mutual hatred for someone in their life, and acknowledging that at the core of everything, we’re all the same.

“We all really, really hate someone,” it read, a statement guess we can all get behind.