WASHINGTON - Steven Lerman, having lived on the Mount Vernon campus as the Provost of George Washington University for the better half of a decade, is going to finally achieve his greatest ambition in the world, seating couples and recommending wines at the TGI Friday’s location located on the Foggy Bottom campus.

“This is everything I’ve ever wanted,” Lerman, in tears, said after being presented the job offer. “I was just in this [provost] job because of my deep hope that being in this area of the city would allow me to finally live my life like I always wanted.”

Lerman has allegedly been practicing asking individuals as to the size of their parties and whether or not they would like to sit in the bar area or the dining room for weeks on end, at the very least.

“I mean, it’s very sad for him to be going and I do think he means the best for us, but this isn’t exactly unexpected, is it?” Luke Watt, a senior, expressed. “I kind of saw it coming.”

“You’ve got to try the buffalo wings,” Lerman explained to a couple entering the restaurant . “They’re to die for.”

“I’d stay away from the nachos, mind,” he continued. “They’re not really nachos, they’re these hard corn tortillas with beans and cheese and the like baked on top. They’re still good, I just don’t want you all to be surprised.”