We all know that the holidays can be a stressful time for those of us who’ve stretched our budgets a bit thin. Luckily, the GW Ax has got you covered! We scoured the city and disappointed our mothers to find the best gifts you can give this Christmas without spending a dime (over your $64,000 a year investment)!
- Cocaine. (You just gotta know a guy.)
- A 7-11 hotdog. Make sure you get all the fixin’s!
- The “Secret Agent Cody Banks” special extended edition, complete with director’s commentary.
- Another goddamned GW bumper sticker. I’m sure mom would love a third one.
- Next semester’s Spanish textbook. Merry early Christmas to you!
- A gift card to everyone’s favorite chain restaurant, Falafel Hut.
- An education. Arguably.
- An ‘I <3 Washington’ magnet, complete with a poorly drawn picture of the Lincoln Memorial. One in a million!
- The crippling realization that the job market has yet to fully recover and your degree will fail to land you a job that will allow for your retirement.
- Two 7-11 hot dogs. Make sure you get all the fixin’s!
