WASHINGTON - On his way out of his home slightly late to work Monday morning, departing Provost Steven Lerman waved hello to the paper boy and made his way across his yard. Suddenly, a walkie-talkie came hurling out of the sky and landed at his feet. Picking it up, the voice at the other end warned him of forthcoming destruction.

“-Afraid. They’re coming,” the walkie crackled. “The end of all things. The eradication of all reality.”

Humming to himself, the Provost was bemused by this suggestion, asking if the incident was some hilarious prank by his assistant Helmut.

The man on the other end of the walkie-talkie explained that he was the Provost’s equivalent in an alternate reality.

“Earth-2?” Lerman gasped. “But I closed the void! At the gallery, in Budapest!”

The walkie-talkie than gave vague instructions as to the way to prevent this threat, explaining how his world has been ravaged by destruction and the only way to stop them is through his direct intervention.

Lerman has since announced plans for a secondary textile museum.

“I’m leaving in a month anyway,” Lerman quipped, before bursting into laughter. “Let it all burn.”