WASHINGTON - After a number of dangerous liaisons, the administration at the George Washington University has released an informational statement reminding its students that, though their degree does make them qualified in affairs internationally, they may not engage in affairs internationally.

“It’s kind of horrifying,” said a source inside the Elliott School. “But I suppose it explains why the program has been so popular.”

A quick survey of several students in the program indicates they were all looking forward to exciting, steamy escapades under the covers whilst undercover behind the Iron Curtain. These same students also apparently do not keep up-to-date on the latest events in world news.

“The students here have absolutely no morals,” one student explained. “They’re investing into a career based entirely upon the idea the world will fundamentally prize diplomacy and partnership. Also the affairs thing.”

“I want to make forbidden, tragic love on top of the Eiffel tower,” one gross Elliott School student told us despite not being prompted or asked in any capacity whatsoever. “It’s all I want in my life.”

The International Affairs program, one of the university’s most popular degrees, has as a result seen a mass exodus by students instead choosing to join the much more sexy Government Contracts program.