WASHINGTON - Lawmakers have shocked the Foggy Bottom neighborhood with this morning’s announcement that they will be making $4 billion available to the School Without Walls to build walls.

The local charter school has long been a staple of public education in the North Eastern neighborhood, but many have felt that its lack of any sort of exterior or interior walls has held it back.

With winter approaching, one teacher says that the money couldn’t have come soon enough.

“Winter is basically a no-go here,” began Ms. Jacky Viscetti. “We take summers off, which is ridiculous when you’re trying to teach in a school which physically has no partitions from the elements. Try teaching math when you’re up to your ankles in snow.”

The calculus teacher was one of many who petitioned for the grant, proving yet again that internet petitions are in fact be the very best method of securing change within society.

The money will be allocated starting immediately with construction beginning today during class time. When asked if the noise that comes with heavy construction would be distracting, Ms. Viscetti had faith in her students.

“They’re used to working in what is basically the open street. Honestly, they can handle this. Or maybe they can’t. I don’t know, I’m paid either way.”

Federal funding for charter schools with dumb names has been up 23% over the last year, providing walls to the School Without Walls, funding limits to Limitless Potentials, and setting clear bounds for Boundless Education.

Rick Desjarderate, a representative from the Obama Administration, explained their new approach.

“Honestly, we’re basically just trying to launder money in the last couple years of his second term. I wouldn’t worry about it. Just don’t put that in the paper, okay?”

The United Nations has since revealed an unprecedented plan to finally provide Doctors Without Borders some sweet new borders.