WASHINGTON - The administration of George Washington University yesterday announced the long and gruelling search for a new provost has finally come to a close, with the panel having decided the job is to be taken by famous cartoon dog Scoobert Doobert Doo.

“We are proud to have unanimously voted for our bold new Provost,” said the chair of the search committee whilst unfolding the paper in which Doo’s name name had been inscribed. “Jeffer- wait, no, S-s-s-s-Scooby-Doo? Like, the cartoon?”

“Ruh roh!” The dog said from the audience. “Row did rat happen, Raggy?”

The dog’s close confidant, Shaggy Rogers, 19, shrugged his shoulders in response and suggested a mystery to be unravelled by their famous mystery gang.

This was not to occur, as Doo immediately had to begin important Provost business. First up, he was forced to choose a department to totally remove from the University’s curriculum, followed by firing several professors just on the verge of tenure.

It has become apparent that Doo was put in the position as part of a fiendish conspiracy to scare off tourists on the part of Old Man Seas, who resides in the lighthouse atop the school of science and engineering.

“I would have gotten away with it, too,” he claimed, “if it weren’t for those rotten kids.”

Still holding the position, Scooby-Doo has enacted a tough plan to ensure the university will regain its prestige as a beacon of private higher education.

“Rou know, rost reople ron’t know what a rovost does,” he explained. “Rut, when Ri’m done, reveryone rill know.”