Despite a notable increase in the number of pet-friendly establishments in this country over the past decade, even in the heart of our nation’s hallowed capital there remain a number of places to which bringing an animal would be poorly advised. While many hotels and restaurants will clearly mark whether or not cats and dogs are allowed on their premises, there is a definite gray area when it comes to where you can take your eel on an outing; this article will seek to shed some light on those ambiguities.

If you will be going to any of the following, it is probably best to leave your eel at home.

1. The Smithsonian’s National Zoo
2. Frank’s Franks on O Street and Seventh
3. Columbia Heights (As per the Anti-Eel Ordinance of 1962)
4. The Exorcist Steps
5. The former site of the National Aquarium (it would just be too depressing)
6. Your mother’s house. She still doesn’t approve of your eel-based lifestyle choices.
7. The Library of Congress reading rooms
8. The bleacher seats of any Washington Nationals game (the owner’s box, however, is fine)
9. The Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Pool (with its water most foul)
10. Any of the District’s more than seventy-five sushi restaurants