WASHINGTON - Sources at the George Washington University’s J-Street Kitchen confirmed today that University President Knapp has been captured, once and for all, with his hand caught in the cookie jar.

Investigators claim that Knapp entered the storage room at J Street at 9 a.m. yesterday, in search of some delicious cookies to “satiate the rumbleys in his tumbleys”. It was not until he attempted to withdraw his hand that he realized just how dangerous a game he was playing.

“I’m tired of it,” began investigator Jack Lemone, a member of the District’s police force for the past six years. “People brush it off, like cookie abuse isn’t a big deal. It isn’t dangerous. It won’t hurt anybody. I want people to know that it’s a slippery slope- first you’re accepting snickerdoodles from your grandma, pretty soon you’re on the streets, turning tricks for an Oreo. Where does it end?”

Knapp has been taken into police custody for the cookie-related incident and his fate has yet to decided. University and District officials claim that they do not want to be seen as ‘light’ on cookie-based crimes.

Not all on campus are happy with this treatment, however.

“We’re organizing a rally, on Kogan Plaza, next week, be there.” Allie Nerfwick, an International Affairs major and an active campaigner with SSCP, or Students for Sensible Cookie Policy, explained.

“My gripes with the man aside, I feel like everyone is making a big deal out of nothing. I mean, we all sneak cookies from the jar on top of the fridge in J-Street, but suddenly Knapp is caught and it becomes a problem? End the war on cookies now!”

Still, change is far off in U.S. cookie law. And, until then, it seems like Knapp will be going away for a long time.