WASHINGTON - Steven Lerman, outgoing provost at George Washington University, spotted a neighborhood pet store in flames and quickly rose to the occasion on Monday.

Walking down the street, whistling to himself, he was in horror as he looked into the store window and saw the store, empty of human life but filled with animals, aflame.

“I’ll save you, my adorable animal friends!” He reportedly yelled to the creatures, kicking the door in.

Immediately opening the cages, the animals rushed out onto the streets of Foggy Bottom.

This gaggle of wild animals have taken to the streets of Washington, causing chaos and running amok, though this is mostly at the fault of the voting public.

“I mean, it’s very sad for him to be going and I do think he means the best for us, but this isn’t exactly unexpected, is it?” an observing student commented, “I kind of saw it coming.”

The provost, with a parrot on one shoulder, a guinea pig on the other, and snake wrapped around his arm, triumphantly rode out of the neighborhood store on a large Saint Bernard.

“I don’t consider myself a hero,” he explained whilst being presented the key to the city and the medal of honor, “I consider myself a visionary.”