SANTA CLARA, Ca. - Levi’s Stadium hosted Super Bowl 50 yesterday, the national event that pit the Denver Broncos and Carolina Panthers together in the fight of the year.

Premium stables were constructed for the Broncos, but the stadium had to utilize reinforced iron bars to keep the Panthers at bay until game day.

 “We’ve spared no expense this time around,” says panther tamer Ron Rivera. “We’ve learned our lesson. You gotta spend your money’s worth on those cages; otherwise the players will get out and, just like that, we need another waterboy. Becuase he gets eaten.”

“This is really the most stressful part of the season,” said Broncos equestrian Gary Kubiak before the game. “The waiting really gets to you, makes you restless. We go through more bales of hay in these two weeks than any other time of the year.”

That’s no surprise since the Broncos had their reputation on the line since their historic Super Bowl defeat to the Seahawks two years prior. Never before had a land-based team suffered such losses (43-8) against an avian team.

The Panthers certainly never faced such an issue, their previous game against the Arizona Cardinals was a landslide victory.

“It was amazing!” One Panthers fan recalled. “It only lasted one Quarter! The game started and there were just red feathers everywhere! My children were crying!”

But the Broncos seemed just as determined and capable on their path to the big game, their previous match a narrow win against the New England Patriots, in the end proving even hardy men with their muskets and tricorns couldn’t keeps from being trampled underfoot in the last quarter.

All of the animals were killed in a grisly fight-to-the-death that left a pool of blood and a majority of the viewing audience satisfied their bloodlust for violence has been quenched and their four hours well-spent.