SALEM, Ore. - Following Ammon Bundy’s arrest, most of his followers have given up their occupation of the Malhuer National Wildlife Range. Some, however, left the Range and promptly occupied the nearby Fort Awesome--a tree house of a young Billy Cooper, an area middle schooler.“I know my rights,” one militiaman shouted down to a reporter through the trapdoor entrance. “This land belongs to the people, along with all the plains, trees, and houses built into trees.”
That one comment aside, the militiamen have declined to release any statements to the public.
Given the treehouse’s thick walls, there has been little to no visual contact since the occupation began. The only time a militiaman showed his face was to hang a banner saying “NO GUVERNMENT ALLOWED” off of the western side of the house.
Local authorities are unable to make any headway, as the only access to the house, a rope ladder, was immediately pulled up. A team of experts has been brought in but have been incapable of penetrating this advanced perimeter.
“We’re advising any civilians in the area to give Fort Awesome a wide berth,” read a statement from the county’s sheriff department. “As of this moment we’re not sure what these men are capable of. They could be armed with anything from slingshots and rotten crabapples to snowballs with pebbles in them.”
Many area locals just wish the militia would leave.
“I was going to have a cool sleepover with my friends in Fort Awesome,” said Billy Cooper, sadly. “Now we’re gonna have to go hang out at Steve’s house, and his mom only gives us gross snacks like carrots and celery.” Steve’s mom declined to comment further.
Many other locals, however, are rooting for the remaining militiamen. “You have to respect what they’re doing,” said local business owner Tanya Lansing. “They’re like folk heroes! Like Davy Crockett, that guy who defended his pillow fort from the Mexicans!”
The future is still unclear for this movement, and it has many locals ready to defend their own treehouses if the need should arise.
