WASHINGTON - Just as the United States Congress was beginning to settle back into its slow and laborious routine following Winter Storm Jonas, another interruption quite literally swept down upon the Senate.

This morning, as Senators were taking their seats, a pigeon dove down from the ceiling and began to fly frantically about the chamber, throwing even the most stoic of the hundred-odd assembled politicians into a panic.

The level of excitement and agitation in the Senate Chamber during the incident is reported to have reached a level not seen since the caning of Sen. Charles Sumner (R-MA) by Sen. Preston Brooks (D-SC) in 1856. Many of those present have come forward with their own versions of events that it has become difficult to identify what really happened.

Reporters from the GW Ax did manage to get ahold of several Senators to get our readers an inside scoop. Speaking with Sen. Barbara Boxer (D-CA), elaborated on her version of events.

“That bird―that pigeon―it came down out of nowhere and went straight for [Senator] Diane [Feinstein]!” a visibly shaken Boxer recalled. “Diane handled it much better than I would have and sent the thing packing with a couple swats.”

Sen. Jim Risch (R-ID) recalled that at one point the pigeon became stuck in the hair of Sen. Chris Coons (D-DE), though Thad Cochran (R-MI) and Harry Reid (D-NV) have discounted this, saying that Coons, “doesn’t really have hair.”

In addition to being unsure of exactly what happened once the panic began, there seems to be some disagreement among those present as to how long the incident lasted, with Sen. Kelly Ayotte (R-NH) giving a conservative estimate of, “about two minutes or so,” in steep contrast to Sen. Heidi Heitkamp (D-ND) pegging the entire episode at, “close to a quarter of an hour.”

Despite upholding the congressional tradition of stark disagreement, all Senators which spoke with the Ax confirmed that, at some point during the ordeal, Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-KY) flung a book at the pigeon, which also tried to nest itself in the bushy hair of Sen. Barbara Mikulski (D-MD), but the order in which these two events occurred has yet to be confirmed.

It has been reported that the pigeon had yet to be apprehended and that most of the Senators present feel it best to take some time to decompress and pick things up again on Monday, with most agreeing that they had not been getting much done anyway.