WASHINGTON - Administrators very happily announced in a universally beloved move that the mandatory freshman University Writing courses are no longer to be held at the desolate wasteland of the Mount Vernon Campus.

The crowd turned hostile, however, as the University announced they had instead been moved to the even more despised campus of Virginia Science and Technology, located in Ashburn, Virginia.

“I don’t even know how to get there,” explained Junior Pete Frears. “Like, is there a shuttle? A helicopter? Do I need to Uber?”

The motivation for the move was provided by the university’s department of pure evil, as usual, which famously first suggested the writing courses should be held at the Mount Vernon campus several years ago.

“We want them to give up! We want them all to hate every facet of their lives!” Professor Chillingsworth, the chair of the department, reiterated. “Morale shall hit an all-time low, as we really wanted the whole time!”

“This seems grossly unfair,” explained Freshman student Jane Frank. “I don’t understand how this makes any business sense aside from simply adding unnecessary feathers in the university’s cap for having more campuses than really at all necessary.”

To account for this change service on the Vern Express will be slightly stymied to three trips a day on weekdays.