WASHINGTON - A statement this week from the State Department says they’re still sifting through Hillary’s emails for some reason, but we’re glad they did. An analyst has come forward saying he’s reached the jackpot of classified information- an email from Hillary to a friend and senator containing an embarrassing snapshot of husband Bill at the Christmas party.

The State Department released a statement to the public, letting us know that this email exists, but stating that they will be withholding access, because those assholes just love to keep all the really interesting bits from us.

The knowledge of the photo was brought forward during an already trying time for Hillary after recent national polling, where her apparently huge poll lead over opponent Bernie Sanders has dwindled down to literal coin tosses. Tough break, Hillary.

We spoke with a member of the Clinton campaign, but we were told that the candidate was “too busy laughing at Bill’s antics” to give a statement. But we would be too, so it’s okay.

It is unclear if some good samaritan will actually show us what is so embarrassing about the photo that it is a matter of national security. We can only assume that perhaps Monica Lewinski is involved. Or (we vainly hope) something that is actually interesting.