NEW MEXICO — Paleontologists discovered a new species of ostrich-like dinosaur called Tototl mimus this week, and it somehow still matters.
This discovery was met with mediocre and well deserved praise, and left people not wondering why they hadn’t heard about it on national news. The media neglected to cover this amazing find, presumably because half the people in this country can’t spell or pronounce the name Tototl mimus.
Academics in the field of paleontology were presumably thrilled with this new discovery, although we’re not sure because we didn’t bother to interview them for this article. They tried to make a big fuss about the new species, saying something about how it’s a cool new link in the dinosaur tree of life. They apparently thought people were listening to what they had to say when they announced the discovery, and apparently didn’t realize that everyone just turned on some music until they went away.
“This is amazing!” said Alex Ruebenstahl, the only undergrad on campus who appears to care about this sort of thing. He then proceeded to list the reasons why, including “excellent preservation of the material that is semi articulated,” until he realized that we had tuned him out and walked away.
Presumably scientists are doing something with this new find, although we don’t plan on hearing about it any time soon.
This discovery was met with mediocre and well deserved praise, and left people not wondering why they hadn’t heard about it on national news. The media neglected to cover this amazing find, presumably because half the people in this country can’t spell or pronounce the name Tototl mimus.
Academics in the field of paleontology were presumably thrilled with this new discovery, although we’re not sure because we didn’t bother to interview them for this article. They tried to make a big fuss about the new species, saying something about how it’s a cool new link in the dinosaur tree of life. They apparently thought people were listening to what they had to say when they announced the discovery, and apparently didn’t realize that everyone just turned on some music until they went away.
“This is amazing!” said Alex Ruebenstahl, the only undergrad on campus who appears to care about this sort of thing. He then proceeded to list the reasons why, including “excellent preservation of the material that is semi articulated,” until he realized that we had tuned him out and walked away.
Presumably scientists are doing something with this new find, although we don’t plan on hearing about it any time soon.
