WASHINGTON - Workers at the Superdorm construction site reported on Monday that they had found a trapdoor leading to a cellar under the foundation of the future student housing unit.
Upon further inspection several the workers discovered several coffin-like objects along with an ancient, musty stench of decay.
“It smells like my living-room last summer a month after an old peach rolled under my couch, with more asbestos maybe,” one worker explained.
Within two hours of the find being reported the area was cordoned off by police. Much of the information currently available comes from theory and speculation. The GW Ax cannot vouch for the authenticity of the following.
Rumors abound that the crypt below the construction site may contain the bodies of senior freemasons or even some of the Founding Fathers.
Professor E. James Olesman of the History Department and a scholar on Colonial America believes the crypt to contain the remains of none other than the namesake of the university.
“I’ve speculated for years that Washington’s tomb at Mount Vernon has been empty since at least the start of the Civil War,” he said. “Where better to reinter him than on these very grounds!”.
Rory Cena, a freshman in the School of Business, had another theory and claimed to reporters that he’d seen two men in formal attire and bearing stark resemblances to Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones, enter the quarantined zone.
“I’ve seen the first two Men in Blacks like forty times! I’d know those guys anywhere,” insisting these were the titular men in black.
The Ax was unable to confirm Josh Brolin’s location at the given time.
President Knapp attempted to put some rumors to bed this morning during a press briefing.
“It’s probably just an old mafia grave,” he claimed. “Who knows, maybe they’ll find Jimmy Hoffa down there!”
Jimmy Hoffa was found deep in the catacombs alive and well Tuesday evening.
