Weller, an economics major and self-proclaimed Lovecraft historian recently announced that, after months of chasing dead end leads, he has unearthed a copy of the infamous codex known only as the Necronomicon.
He is one of many who have, until now, searched fruitlessly over the last near-century for this occult grimoire, which most experts believed to have been lost to the ages, or worse yet, a mere product of cosmic-horror writer, H.P. Lovecraft’s imagination rather than an authentic work by the medieval Yemeni author, Abdul Alhazred.
“It was out there waiting to be found,” Weller told the Ax shortly after the discovery was announced. “I always knew I had to see this through to the end.”
He later added that the discovery really speaks to the wealth of resources available in the university’s library system, made easy through the implementation of the crystal-clear Library of Congress guidelines.
In recognition of his work, Dr. Winthrop H. Digger, dean of the Pennsylvania Institute of Pseudosciences, awarded Weller an honorary PhD on Saturday, though the outdoor ceremony ultimately had to be moved inside after unexpected storm clouds appeared, raining blood on the attending guests.
Attendees report that at one point Weller began speaking in tongues, though he maintains that he really only has a slight lisp.
Weller is actively seeking a buyer for the book and admits that he has no personal desire to read the ancient tome of ungodly unmentionables, noting it is, “like, two-thousand pages long.”