WASHINGTON - At a press conference on Friday morning, James Beruch, a spokesperson for the American Psychological Association (APA), announced that, after months of deliberation, leading psychologists has scientifically determined that they are not scientists.
However, Beruch has come under fire for following this announcement with less than savory comments about another field of science.
“At least we’re not sociologists, right?” He said, almost immediately regretful upon witnessing the wave of silence from the entire press corps that followed. “I mean, how bad would that be?
Beruch maintains that his microphone had been left on by mistake and the offending remarks were not to be taken seriously, though most offensive is his absolutely terrible attempt at backpedaling those same remarks.
This announcement was met with shock and outrage across the country and the world.
“I’m never going to therapy again!” exclaimed one woman, “all this time I thought there was some science behind it, but I guess my shrink was just guy with an office and a couch after all.”
John Golpmule, a Pfizer chemical engineer, shared his initial reaction to the news.
“It was a bit hard to swallow at first,” he said. “I’m sure I wasn’t the only one who felt betrayed, especially with that ribbing at the sociologists. I don’t know what that was all about.”
This sense of betrayal was one which was echoed by scientists in many other fields. Radford Aero, a leading psychologist from Van Nuys, California who was part of the decision, offered a few thoughts on why scientists are taking the announcement so hard.
“What we’re observing here is a case of mass betrayal trauma,” Aero explained. “STEM field workers felt that we were part of their ‘scientific family’, so to speak, and now that relationship has been invalidated.”
“But what do I know, I’m not a scientist.”
APA President Barry S. Anton announced that association would be holding counseling sessions at their headquarters for anyone who seeks help coming to terms with the pronouncement.
James Beruch offered an apology to the sociologists of the world and turned-in his resignation. He has yet to issue an apology to the world of crowd-work comedy, who have also been seriously offended.
Meanwhile, most of the public was trying to figure out exactly what sociology is. A study is being conducted to determine the roots of this social trend, but we do not know what kind of scientist would be able to do this for us.
However, Beruch has come under fire for following this announcement with less than savory comments about another field of science.
“At least we’re not sociologists, right?” He said, almost immediately regretful upon witnessing the wave of silence from the entire press corps that followed. “I mean, how bad would that be?
Beruch maintains that his microphone had been left on by mistake and the offending remarks were not to be taken seriously, though most offensive is his absolutely terrible attempt at backpedaling those same remarks.
This announcement was met with shock and outrage across the country and the world.
“I’m never going to therapy again!” exclaimed one woman, “all this time I thought there was some science behind it, but I guess my shrink was just guy with an office and a couch after all.”
John Golpmule, a Pfizer chemical engineer, shared his initial reaction to the news.
“It was a bit hard to swallow at first,” he said. “I’m sure I wasn’t the only one who felt betrayed, especially with that ribbing at the sociologists. I don’t know what that was all about.”
This sense of betrayal was one which was echoed by scientists in many other fields. Radford Aero, a leading psychologist from Van Nuys, California who was part of the decision, offered a few thoughts on why scientists are taking the announcement so hard.
“What we’re observing here is a case of mass betrayal trauma,” Aero explained. “STEM field workers felt that we were part of their ‘scientific family’, so to speak, and now that relationship has been invalidated.”
“But what do I know, I’m not a scientist.”
APA President Barry S. Anton announced that association would be holding counseling sessions at their headquarters for anyone who seeks help coming to terms with the pronouncement.
James Beruch offered an apology to the sociologists of the world and turned-in his resignation. He has yet to issue an apology to the world of crowd-work comedy, who have also been seriously offended.
Meanwhile, most of the public was trying to figure out exactly what sociology is. A study is being conducted to determine the roots of this social trend, but we do not know what kind of scientist would be able to do this for us.
