WASHINGTON - Steven Knapp, president of the George Washington University, has announced plans to construct an all-new evil base of operations on the Mount Vernon campus.

“Bwa-ha-ha!” Knapp commented, using his signature catchphrase. The sound of a horse neighing immediately followed his statement.

In his latest fiendish scheme, Knapp has quite literally targeted the imagination of young people everywhere through cutting the budget for the university’s creative writing department.

Meeting the board, Knapp outlined his hopes for the potential functions the lair could provide.

“There will be a pool of sharks,” he explained, coolly. “Two students shall be lowered in. One shall emerge.”

One board member, hesitant to approve the bold new plan, was immediately killed as Knapp pressed a button at his control board, electrifying the member’s chair.

“We will steal a nuclear warhead,” Knapp fiendishly said. “We will hold the world for ransom.”

He also announced plans to expand the university’s new textile museum and volunteer programs.