THE DISTANT PLANET NEBULAX - “Back, back to the hell from whence you came, ye damn’ed beast!” yells Steven Lerman, soon-to-be former provost of George Washington University.Lerman, as part of his final trials before leaving the position, is currently indisposed in a heated skirmish in another dimension with the terrifying reptile menace known as the Gorn. The victor of the duel shall be returned to his or her own astral plane.
“Thy crags!” he reportedly beckoned to the creature, before narrowly dodging one of its dreaded uppercuts.
The university’s procedure for resignations from the position of provost was decided upon by a secret society of freemasons at some point in the first half of the 19th century.
Maris Tripton, a junior, was one of the hand-selected judges of the gladiatorial combat’s panel.
“I mean, it’s very sad for him to be going and I do think he means the best for us, but this isn’t exactly unexpected, is it?” Tripton explained, “I kind of saw it coming.”
In the event of Lerman’s defeat, he will be launched into space whilst a native Scotsman plays Amazing Grace on his bagpipes.
“For god’s sake man,” expressed Dr. Leonard McCoy, reportedly an expert in this field, “I’m a doctor, not a military strategist.”
The Gorn refused to comment.
Students looking for further updates should follow the liveblog from the university’s department of interdimensional warfare.
