Pros and Cons of Going Greek
Pros
- Cocaine.
- Immediate friendships with a whole bunch of probably lovely people.
- You really don’t get enough excuses to binge drink in a suit.
- Connections that you’ll probably forget to use until 4th quarter senior year.
- Dad would probably be pretty happy.
- Conformity was basically the best part of high school.
- Pretty sure Wingos is at one of these rush events.
- Join the prestigious ranks of Reagan, JFK, Uncle Micky from back home.
- Housing is pretty nice Monday through Tuesday.
- Philanthropy can give you both confidence and alcohol on the same day.
Cons
- Cocaine.
- Gary is a dick, you probably wouldn’t want to be his ‘brother.’
- You’d have to learn the Greek Alphabet.
- Current habit of spending Saturday nights eating pizza bagels and binge watching Friends is pretty great.
- Boating shoes are expensive.
- So are suit jackets.
- Good luck being involved in anything else on campus.
- Creates environment of people who care about you, which will be inconvenient when you hit rock-bottom.
- Hazing sounds pretty fun but apparently isn’t allowed anymore.
- You’d have to bring your GPA up above that 2.2 you have.
